" Ok," Joan regrouped and tried another approach, "but if your bodyisn't producing the right hormones, you could be headed for somepretty big health problems and I'd like to be sure that we avoid anychance of that."Jordan blinked many times and stared at the floor as he thought."I'll make sure that everything is perfectly safe, Jordie. We'll dothe exam right here. You'll wear a mask and I will wear a clean-suit... you know... a white suit made Tyvek? One that I can just throwaway after we're done."He still looked at the floor, blinking."What do you say, Jordie?"Finally, his head snapped upright and he looked towards the doctor,not quite making eye contact. "If I do this for you..."He paused, thinking for quite a long time."...can you help me with something?" I will if I can, Jordie. What exactly would like help with?"He looked at Mary and thought for a moment before blurting out, "I'dlike to get breast implants."Mary breathed as steadily as she could, covering the shock of whatshe'd. ”I tried to remember the last time we’d done that. It was right after Mark had kissed me the first time. Two months? Had it only been two months?Bethany shifted uncomfortably. “If you don’t want to—”“No.” I tried to reach back in time to find that light-hearted, fun person I used to be. It felt like tickling my fingertips against something just out of reach. “I think I’d like that, Bee.”My pet name for her had just slipped out. Her eyes opened wide. “Really?”I was broken. There was a hole inside me. But in that moment all the jagged bits inside stopped shifting around. I could suddenly breathe easier. Bethany wasn’t asking if she could really stay the night. She was asking if I was really able to call her Bee again.She had hurt me. There was a time I had thought her betrayal was the worst pain in the world, but I was wrong. I thought Mark picking Lydia over me was worse, and maybe it was, but losing Sam had shown me what real pain was. The kind that takes your breath away and never.
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